Dear Future Self,
This letter marks a new starting point. Your previous self has had a good run, but unfortunately he lost the battle. Within the span on a few hours, I was reborn, and I can no longer even empathise with my past self.
Instead of dwelling on the past, I’d like to explore my present - the idea of creativity from grief and what I’m currently calling “fuck you energy”. This feeling of “fuck you energy” isn’t alien to me - I’ve experienced it before, but like now I expect that I will only experience it for a fleeting moment. It certainly is a very appeeling feeling of freedom. There have been multiple times where I have forgotten what this feels like, or even doubted that this is state of being exists. Is it the sudden contrast, or perhaps this state is unsustainable? I wouldn’t say that I feel constrained during daily life, but in comparison to my current emotions there are no other words.
As can be seen from this letter post, the moment is only fleeting - even this post skirts around the details and uses confusing language. The level of freedom, and creativity contained within the moment is indescribable, yet vanishes quickly.
I am writing this so that you don’t forget. Maybe one day you’ll understand yourself, but for now I wish you the best, and I hope your future experiences are worthwhile for the next time.
Best,
Past Self